Looking for arguments against arranged marriage?
Let’s face it, we have our gripes against arranged marriages. We find a way to vent our feelings by rebelling against arranged marriage or sabotaging it deliberately. The more expressive personalities take their grievance to social media.
Here is a video that gives you a glimpse of the negative opinion urban youth have against arranged marriage.
However, we have found a blog post published on Medium where there is a long list of arguments against arranged marriage. In fact, the author has belted out a 9 point rebuttal against arranged marriage.
Note to bloggers – Don’t write when you are angry because you will make grammar mistakes.
Here is a reproduction of the epic rant. By calling the blog post a rant, we are by no means saying that the arguments made are invalid. In fact, this author gives a compelling explanation for why arranged marriages are wrong.
1. Arranged Marriage is like a time-bomb
“Oh my God! My kid is n years old. It is time to get them married. What will society say if they are not married by the age of n+1?”
Age is just a number — this, along with being a popular cliche, is also true! Being mentally, physically, and financially ready is more important. More importantly, age should not be considered in an absolute sense just because there is a socially acceptable age range. Hell! Even the biological clock doesn’t matter if you’re not ready! You force someone to do something they are not ready to do, it will have its consequences.
2. Whatever happened to like-mindedness?
“I need to find a fair, rich partner belonging to the same state, religion, caste, sub-categories…”
While I have agreed that similarity in family backgrounds matters, this is not decided by caste — not in this day.
How liberal the other family is, their like-mindedness — these do matter. It is scary enough to start living with someone you don’t know that well. Who needs the added hassle of adapting to other big changes?
3. Arranged Marriage is all about caste
“My kid likes someone? Not our caste? What will society (who did not even give a damn about us till now) say? Not done. We need to find them someone of my choice.”
The most important thing about getting into a marriage is mutual consent and happiness. Without that, it is not a real marriage.
You care about what society says?! Are they going to be there when your kid is unhappy? You care about caste?! In this day?!
Who works according to their caste these days? Hell! A higher caste person, marrying a lower caste person would be better for the kids! Their future is secure due to all the reservations. This is a topic for another day.
We rounded up all published arranged marriage statistics in one blog post! Check out what the data says about arranged marriages.
4. Arranged Marriage is all about your parent’s choice
“My kid likes someone? Our caste? But how dare they fall in love with someone we have not chosen? Besides, the person they have chosen has this (read small) flaw (which I am going to blow out of proportion). No can do. We need to find them someone of my choice.”
Rejecting someone your kid likes because you don’t like them? If it is a valid reason, like the person is a terrorist, sure, go ahead stop them. But, the following, not inclusive, are not and I repeat are not valid reasons — caste, colour, your ego, society image, food habits.
5. Your business is the society’s business
“My kid likes someone else? But 100 other people would be happy with them having an arranged marriage? They shouldn’t be selfish and pick their happiness over 100 others.”
The question to ask here is — if those 100 people can be happy in my kid’s misery do they deserve that consideration?
6. You are either with me or against me
“My kid likes someone else and I’m against that. How dare they pick someone they’ve known for only a short while over someone they’ve known their whole life?”
This is the most common, lame, logically flawed argument.
A) It is not about picking sides based on the tenure. It is about picking the correct side. Making someone unhappy without a valid reason is wrong. Breaking a commitment made to someone is wrong. Getting two people married without mutual consent is wrong.
B) You picked your ego and society image over your kid’s happiness. Do you deserve that consideration?
7. Suicide threat is a useful tool to force an arranged marriage
“If my kid decides to go ahead with love marriage then I’ll commit suicide!”
Suicide? Really? You want to either die or live to watch your kid live a life of misery. Bravo! nice choices you have left yourself. Also, it’s ILLEGAL!
8. My way or the highway!
“My kid doesn’t like the person I picked? What is to like/not like? Who gave them a choice?”
Huh? I’m confused. Are you getting married or are they? I thought they had to spend their entire life in that marriage. Wait! That’s right! They do.
9. The cure for homosexuality is arranged marriage
“My kid is homosexual? What will society say? I’ll get them married to a person of the opposite sex.”
Pure injustice! Well, our law needs to change in the first place (another topic for another day). You are ruining the lives of at least two people. Your “beloved” child and their future partner.
Our generation is getting wiser…but who told us to b wise are the same parents…what if they dont agree…are we supposed to go against them…?? Are we!!??
Well said. I agree..
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