Marrying An Engineer? 7 Points To Keep In Mind Before You Say Yes!


Marrying an engineer

The odds of marrying an engineer are pretty high!

India is the land of Engineers In India, around 1.5 million engineers graduate with an engineering degree every year and according to a recent study, 80% of 16 to 17-year-olds in India declared that they wanted to take up Engineering! When you think of marrying an engineer, you may automatically conclude that we are referring to a male! In India though, women are taking up engineering with equal gusto!

According to the survey, “In India, only 29% of the population consider engineering as masculine, while an amazing 30% consider it as feminine. This is the second most surprising finding since India has by far the most gender-balanced view towards the attractiveness of engineering in comparison to all of the other countries.”

The clichéd joke making the rounds in the last several decades is that Indian kids have only two career choices – become an Engineer or a Doctor. The sad part is that it is not actually funny when you have a look at the statistics and find out that it is indeed true.

If you exclude India and China, countries like Russia, US, Indonesia churn out a large number of engineering graduates. The numbers are large enough relative to their respective populations and that means you will probably have a good chance of marrying an engineer in these countries as well.

Marrying an engineer

Although the times are changing, it might not change soon enough for people who are going to marry in the next few years. For these people, there is a high probability that they will be marrying an engineer!

With so much demand and availability of engineers, we thought you might be interested to know what it means to marry an engineer. Wait no more! We shine some light on secret insights on what it is like to marry an engineer.

Why Engineers Make Good Husbands or Wives?

Marrying an engineer

Ready to marry a nerd?

You are in for a surprise twist! Sure they are nerdy, shy, sloppy, lazy, afraid of approaching women and uncool, but all that changes when you look at them from the point of view of marriage. You will find out that they make excellent partners. Sure they are a little complex to understand and difficult to deal with at the start, but once you get to know them, you will find out what the hype about engineers really is all about.

Engineers engineered to be marriage material. They are taught well by their teachers, project leaders, their curriculum and their peers on how to be a loyal, committed and decent. So before you decide that engineers are boring and nerdy, give them a chance. You never know how they might surprise you!

Here is what an attorney said about the advantage of marrying an engineer.

It remains the best decision of my life. Educated, articulate, detail oriented, and a math whiz are wonderful traits for a spouse to have. He noticed the housing bubble as it formed and we avoided buying at its peak, and as I’ve told numerous friends, you’ll find those characteristics in an engineer.

1. Smart & Rational

Engineers are smart and rational. They make informed decisions and don’t jump into anything. They are smart enough to understand anything and intelligent enough to deal with any situation. They calculate risks and make careful decisions that will make sure you have a great life ahead. They are team players and will always consider your opinions and inputs before making any major decision. The downside is that you have found a smart engineer to marry, she will probably outwit you in your arguments! So be prepared to throw tantrums in order to win the arguments when logic doesn’t help.

Marrying an engineer

Here is what Arlene Lassin, a writer, and blogger, has to say about the experience of marrying to an engineer.

When called upon for something creative, he depends on me for helping him to get a clever speech written, poems for birthdays, and the like. In turn, I ask him to take care of all technical related matters, particularly those on the computer or cell phone. We are opposites, but it works well for us, except for these minor misunderstandings where we don’t understand how the other’s brain is wired. Other than that we are really happy together. I respect him for his qualities — and boy does he ever come in handy! He is my biggest fan and cheerleader and believes in my talent, even if a creative brain confounds him at times.

2. Commitment to marriage

Raise your hands if you don’t want a committed spouse. Engineers are loyal and committed. Surviving 4+ years of engineering at school is not easy. You need patience, perseverance, and faith to see it through.

You will learn that when you see how attached they are to their laptops. They know how to maintain friendships and their college friends are a proof of that. Come what may, their college friendship will last a lifetime. They fight and argue and abuse but never give up on their friendship. Not even for another girl/guy. That is loyalty you cannot buy.

Marrying an engineer
It’s easy to be committed to your relationship when it’s going well,” says senior study author Thomas Bradbury, a psychology professor who co-directs the Relationship Institute at the University of California – Los Angeles. ”

As a relationship changes, however, shouldn’t you say at some point something like, ‘I’m committed to this relationship, but it’s not going very well — I need to have some resolve, make some sacrifices and take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship moving forward. It’s not just that I like the relationship, which is true, but that I’m going to step up and take active steps to maintain this relationship, even if it means I’m not going to get my way in certain areas.”

This is one area Engineers excel in! They know the true meaning of commitment as they make significant sacrifices to meet their goals and know how to manage the constraints within which they operate in their professional world.

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3. Engineers are like Dogs – Loyal and Compassionate!

Engineers make good companions. Engineers are understanding, compassionate and empathetic people. They know when to talk and when to stay silent; when to overwhelm you with attention and when to give you space; when to be a preacher and when to shut up and listen; when to scold and when to love.

They are there when you need a shoulder to cry on or an entertainer to make you forget about your day. They have tonnes of stupid stories to keep you laughing for a lifetime. They are creative; they don’t get bored of things easily and they know how to keep things interesting. They bring out the best in you while giving you the best of themselves. So keep them close.

Marrying an engineer

Here is what someone said about her engineer husband.

My husband is (and always has been) a geek. I knew all it before I married him. But they just reinforced a theory I have always had?geeks make the best husbands (and fathers). Perhaps it?s because they’ve never had their heads (or egos) inflated. Perhaps it’s because they know what it’s like when people are not kind. Or perhaps they’re just pre-wired with good hearts? For whatever reason, they seem to be some of the most caring, nurturing (and smart to boot) spouses I know.

Earlier this week I went on a field trip with my 3-year-old and met one of her classmates is a little boy named Mac. Mac is short and wiry, his hair defies any attempt at styling, and he wears thick wire-rimmed glasses. Imagine a mini McLovin. He is a honey of a boy – sweet, funny, and loves to give hugs.

As I sat with him on my lap that day it took every ounce of restraint I had not to tell him, “Mac, it might be a rough road for you for awhile. Kids can be mean. Teenagers can be even meaner. But don’t worry, you are going to have an amazing wife and beautiful children one day. And you will be smart and accomplished and will probably really make a difference in the world. And you will be so glad you are who you are.

But instead, I just gave him a big hug. And then I came home and told my husband how lucky I am to have him.

4. Finances? Check. Plan C? Check

Engineers have a stable job or don’t rest till they find one. They are good with numbers and understand the importance of hard earned money, be it theirs or yours. They plan everything well be it a vacation with family or a life with you. Not just A plan, they have plan B and plan C in case the first one doesn’t work.

Marrying an engineer

Here is a comment someone made about his engineer wife. Having a wife that thinks logically and understands my compulsion for the latest and greatest has been fantastic. I think that the importance of the engineer’s ability to problem solve has been one of the attributes I appreciate the most. An engineering wife will also keep you on your toes (pro) – no slippery excuses allowed (con). I admire and respect my wife and could not imagine being with someone who could not understand me on the level that she is able to. This world really needs more problem solving logical thinkers. My engineer wife is perfect for me.

Marrying An Engineer May Not Be A Great Idea…

Marrying an engineer

Marrying an engineer is not all roses and peaches. Engineers think differently and it may clash big time if you are a creative person or in touch with your emotional side.

Joanna Wogulis is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a life coach in California. Here is what she has to say about some of her patients.

An inordinate number of my clients are married to or are engineers. Many of my women clients, who complain about their marriages, tell me that their husbands are engineers and I don’t think that is a coincidence. So it made me wonder what is it about these engineers that create problems in their marriages?

Let’s look at some of the drawbacks of marrying an engineer.

5. Am I living with a roommate?

Engineers love their job and (depending on the industry), they may have a gruelling work schedule. Software engineers in India and elsewhere work insane hours during the week and sometimes work during the weekends. You can’t expect your engineer spouse to be there for you when you need them or pay attention to what you want! It is important that you have your own hobbies, interests, friends network and a social support system to deal with the absence of your spouse.

Marrying an engineer

According to Love Engineer, a blog dedicated to relationship issues, “You also have your more reserved engineer that are more career focused so getting them to do things out of work can be hard especially if they are on a deadline, so don’t take it personally when they work 80 hours a week or even come home to work some more. They love what they do, and it will always come first.

6. Lack of emotional support

Engineers approach life as one big engineering challenge. They love working with complicated instruction manuals but they may not realise that the curve balls life throws at us cannot be tackled with just logical thinking alone. Oodles of empathy and emotional intelligence are also required and engineers may find them in short supply.

Marrying an engineer

Joanna Wogulis sums up this situation very well.

Women who are married to these men often complain that they can’t have an intimate conversation with their husbands. They have trouble getting them to talk about what they see as something missing in the marriage. For him, there’s nothing missing, as long as life moves along smoothly. The wives feel that it is really hard to expand a conversation to talk about feelings, because feelings can’t be fixed, and they are “fixers.”

They are trained to look carefully at the problem, and methodically find the solution to it. Unfortunately, problems in relationships aren’t fixable that way. You can’t throw it up on your computer and come up with a solution. You can’t shy away from showing and sharing feelings, and there is no scientific method, with equations or testing procedures, that will make things better. Emotions are not a hands-on problem.

Read this interesting first-hand account of “What Sadly Happens When A Creative Type Marries An Engineering Techie Type.

7. Well groomed engineer? You can’t find one!

Engineers are introverts (depending on the industry they work in) and are busy in their own little world of numbers and rules. While on one hand they are humble and don’t take themselves too seriously, marrying an engineer also means putting up with sloppy wardrobe, an utter lack of dress sense and personal hygiene.

Marrying an engineer

Here is yet another nugget from Love Engineer.

Their personalities vary depending on what segment their profession is in. I have noticed different engineering professions cultivate different personalities. For instance, in my experience, mechanical engineers, civil engineers and chemical engineers are often more outgoing than programmers or electrical engineers.

Some dress well, some will never understand that black dress socks don’t go with running shoes or sandals. Some engineering wardrobes are full of free shirts, jackets and hats with company logos of companies they have worked or vendors gave them as a gift. Unless they are a sales engineer most won’t own a suit and if they do it is very outdated and they will not feel comfortable wearing it so don’t push them too.

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Divorce Rates Among Engineers

Marrying a engineer

Divorce rates among software engineers in India seem to be rising due to a variety of factors. Long work hours, relentless work pressures, overseas assignments, and night shifts can often create major disconnect among couples employed in the booming software industry.

In the US, Michael G. Aamodt from Radford University conducted a study on the divorce rates of various professions. The results of this study showed that engineers in the US had a relatively low divorce rate of about 10%.

In fact, the study also included divorce rates among different types of engineers! Among engineers, those working in the construction industry had the highest divorce rates and those working in agriculture had the lowest divorce rates.

Marrying an engineer? 7-Point Checklist For You!

Marrying an engineer

1. Intelligent conversations trump dumb chit chat. Do your homework and start brushing up your general knowledge!

2. Engineers are fixers. Don’t stop them from finding a solution even if you wanted them to just listen to you.

3. They probably were not the coolest dudes or dudettes growing up. They probably will never say anything if you are not in a great shape either.

4. Engineers love tech, science fiction, and gadgets. Remember this if it’s time to give them a gift.

5. Most engineers (except software engineers!) are super organised at home. If you are sloppy and marrying an engineer, mend your ways.

6. If you have close friends, don’t worry about losing them after marriage. Your engineer spouse won’t bother you as long as you don’t drag them out!

7. Engineers tend to think that they should take the final call on all big decisions. Be prepared for a tussle on this front.

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